From Burnout to Balance: A Parent's Guide to Self-Care

Parental burnout is a condition any mother, father, or caregiver can experience because of chronic high stress. An analysis of 10 years of APA (American Psychological Association) about stress in America data showed that parents of children under 18 are consistently more likely to report high levels of stress than others. And in 2023, one-third of parents rated their stress as higher compared with just 20% of the rest of the population.

Burnout can be experienced in many ways:

1.  Through sensations such as fatigue, chronic exhaustion, headache, backache, shoulder pain, etc.

2.  Through negative thoughts, especially about your parenting style: “I should be a better parent,” “I am not allowed to rest, I don’t have time for that.” 

3.  Thorough emotions: Life guilt, apathy, sadness.

Parental burnout can hit particularly hard because, unlike occupational burnout, it’s not always possible to take a vacation—which may leave you feeling like you can’t escape the stressor.

Behind many of our angry reactions to our children is a fear of failing as a parent. This feeling of “I am doing it wrong” is projected as anger and demands on our children and partners. 

Rather than fixating on the significant stressors, rebalance the changeable ones that contribute to your feelings of exhaustion over time.

Now that I have told you about it and you identify that you are experiencing it, here are a couple of things you can do to regain your balance and recognize and satisfy your physical and emotional needs.

Children need a solid foundation, a structure to protect them and help them understand how the world works. And guess what? Mom and Dad need it, too. The difference between children and adults is that the little ones still can't give themselves everything they need; they depend on us to provide it. As adults, on the other hand, we can satisfy our needs if we put our minds to it. 

Here are some small behaviors you can start doing:

·    Watch your sleep.

·    Take naps.

·    Eat healthy.

·    Move your body, exercise.

·    Go for a walk.

·    Take microbreaks: locking the door in the bathroom for 5 minutes to take deep breaths 

·    Sit in your car to listen to a guided meditation.

·    Practice Self-compassion

·    Visit your friends

These are activities and actions that, by taking care of yourself and investing time in yourself, are the best investments you can make, both for you and for your family. Self-care will help you prevent or get out of burnout, and you will be more ready to recognize what is happening to you, be aware of your reactions, impulses, thoughts, and emotions, and, therefore, be able to offer better answers to your loved ones.