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  • Writer's pictureDeniss Pleiner, M.A.

3 Myths We Are Told About Being a Late Bloomers to Love.


Allow Yourself the Time to Bloom

Comparison is the thief of joy, but sometimes we can’t help but compare ourselves to others when it comes to timelines. Maybe it seems like all of your friends started dating before you, they're all getting married, having kids, buying a home. When you focused on your career, it can feel kind of lonely as a late bloomer in love because everyone's coupled up now. But being a late bloomer is a beautiful experience and much more common than you may think. Let’s break down some myths you might be internalizing about being a late bloomer that can help you manage the stress, anxiety, and self doubt that comes with it.

You have to be married by 30.

The age of 30 means a lot in our world and there is a strong societal expectation of achieving great things by the age of 30. In reality, most people are just getting started with learning about themselves around our late twenties. Human brains don’t finish developing until then, which is when our prefrontal cortex fully develops. The prefrontal cortex is thought of as the “personality” center of the brain and is responsible for higher level processing like regulating our thoughts, actions and emotions. How can you know who you want to be with forever if you're just getting to know who you are?

Sooner is better than later.

While we can celebrate those who achieve their relationship goals early in life, it is important to not place judgment or value on timeliness. In fact, sometimes we don’t know ourselves well enough when we’re young to build relationships that are truly authentic and aligned with our own values. We need time and life experience to figure out what we really care about. Mature individuals tend to have a clearer sense of their life goals, making it easier to align with a partner who shares similar aspirations. Taking your time to live life on your own terms and discover what you want and need in a relationship is a huge privilege and can make life a richer experience.

You are running out of time.

The idea that quality relationships are confined to a specific age bracket disregards the fact that personal growth, self-discovery, and the pursuit of meaningful connections can happen at any stage of life. People's life paths and relationship journeys are diverse and unique. There are plenty of people taking their time to find the one or who thought they found them but realized the are heading down a different path.

Many individuals find fulfilling and loving partnerships well beyond their 30s, as people continually evolve and mature emotionally.

Being a late bloomer in love can create stress, anxiety, and self doubt. But it is a special and unique experience that gives you the opportunity to really take your time and get to know yourself. Sometimes, the best things in life are worth the wait, even if it feels like everybody else got there before you.


At TOC Therapy, we specialize in supporting driven professionals manage stress at work make time to develop healthy personal relationships- including finding" the one." If you are interested in working with us, schedule a free consultation below:


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