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by Deniss Pleiner, M.A.
Here at TOC Therapy, we are fans of love, of finding the right person to love you and accept you for all of who you are. But we also believe that we set the bar. If we are unkind to ourselves, we are more easily accepting of others being unkind towards us. So let's talk about some ways we can practice Self-Love.
Take Yourself Out on Dates: Go to the movies, have dinner, go out for coffee for 20 minutes. Spending time with yourself allows you to get to know yourself and how can you love someone you don't know?
Try new Things: When you allow yourself to try new things, experience new things, you give yourself a chance to learn, grown, and be proud of what you can do. This is an extension of getting to know yourself. And once you know that, you can begin to build relationships as your true self. Plus you won't accept anyone else trying to tell you who you are.
Practice Self-Compassion: Remember to be kind to yourself and stay away from negative thoughts. Using words like "lazy", "stupid", or "Dumb" to describe yourself normalizes them and makes it easier for others to call you the same.
Schedule in Down-Time : Allow yourself time to recharge and recenter. Activites like reading, meditation, or a hot bath allow you some down time to breathe.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Allow yourself to choose long term inner peace rather than short term relief by pleasing others. You will be happier and more fulfilled with safe and healthy relationships.
Remember that self love is not just for when we are single but it is just as crucial when we are in a relationship. It keeps us from getting lost in a relationship but also helps us add to a relationship because we have our own experiences, opinions, and thoughts.
If you would like more support in this area, schedule your free consultation with us down below: